KarKar -- List Thirty Four

B e i n g   M e

That's right.
I think everyone

should be proud 

of themselves, 

and I have worked 

rather hard to get here.

There are days where

I feel like some kind

of mutant loser,

of course.

That's human,

but when I stop

and take a look at

my life and my progress,

even when I feel kind of

lost and beaten down by 

all the things going on

right now, and 

I realize yet again

that I have changed.

I may not have a 

full-ride to college 

handed to me, but 

I know that I can work

my way through it 

with unconditional love

and support.

I may not have the

best of friends who

I can talk to about 

everything and anything,

but I know the majority 

of people at my school

and I listen to so many 

different people everyday.

Whether it is about 

how there morning went

or their latest fight

with their parents

and even too much

information about their

own personal lives,

but I learn from them.

I am there for them. 

Just like I am there 

for my family.

Even when we 

aren't necessarily 

getting along, I know

I would drop everything

for anyone of them 

and be there for them.

I think of all my 

community service,

of all my accomplishments

and even failures, and

even if I haven't 

done my best, I know

that I can work 

even harder next time. 

I think

about all the choices 

I could have made and

all the different paths

they would have taken

me down. Of course 

I regret some, but 

more often than not now

I can say that I am 

proud of being me,

and that is a 

really good feeling.

Last but not least,

I think of all the people

that helped me get this far,
and I am thankful 

even the girl who told me

I did not belong in her group,

and then I turned around and

literally saved her life,

or the guy who told me

I belonged with him

and then never cared

to speak to me again,

and I often think about

writing them an anonymous

thank you letter, along

with stranger who smiled

at me as we passed 

on the sidewalk, 

and my mom for 

putting up with me

and trusting her 

instincts . . .
Oh, and my step-dad
who will never know
how much it meant
to me when he said
I was his little blonde.

Perhaps this blog

will do.

People are important

and you'd be surprised

how much of a difference

they can make.

Including yourself.